Talking to Children About Mental Health and Suicide: A Heartfelt Guide for Parents 💔⚠️

Trigger Warning - Loss and Suicide

The tragic loss of young lives to mental health struggles is a heartbreaking reality, reminding us of the importance of having open and supportive conversations with our children. With so much in the news recently about mental health struggles, including the challenges faced by public figures like Liam Payne, it’s a stark reminder that we should shed light on mental health challenges and ensure that young people feel seen, heard, and supported.

Just a month ago, a girl from my eldest son’s school ended her life. She was only 13. Breaking this devastating news to my two eldest boys, aged 11 and 13, was one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had. We wanted to do it in a way that was both honest and therapeutic, while still age-appropriate. If you find yourself in a similar position, here’s how we approached this delicate topic with honesty, care, and age-appropriate language.

How to Talk to Children About Suicide

🗣️ Start with care and clarity

It’s essential to begin the conversation gently but clearly, ensuring they hear the news in a safe, supportive space.
What we said:
“Boys, we need to tell you something difficult and very sad. A girl from your school has died. We want to let you know because you might hear about it from others, and we want you to understand what’s happened.”

💬 Give just the right amount of information

Provide straightforward explanations that suit your child’s age and maturity level. Avoid unnecessary details while being honest.
What we said:
“She was struggling with some really tough feelings that a lot of people didn’t know about, and sadly, she decided to end her own life. This is called suicide, and it happens when someone feels so overwhelmed that they don’t see another way out.”

💔 Acknowledge their emotions

Let them know that it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions—sadness, confusion, even anger—and reassure them that all feelings are valid.
What we said:
“It’s really sad and confusing to think about, and it’s okay to feel upset or unsure about how to feel. Some people might be angry, others really sad, and it’s all normal. Everyone reacts differently.”

🤝 Emphasise support and communication

Reassure them that they can always turn to someone they trust, be it a parent, teacher, or another safe adult if they ever feel overwhelmed.
What we said:
“We want you to know that if you ever feel really upset or worried about anything, you can always talk to us, a teacher, or someone you trust. It’s really important to ask for help when we feel down because there are always people who care and want to help.”

❓ Leave space for their questions

Encourage them to ask questions, either in the moment or later, as they process the information.
What we said:
“Do you have any questions? You might not have any right now, but if you do later on, please come talk to us anytime.”

Supporting Children’s Mental Health

This tragic loss is a stark reminder of the importance of mental health awareness, particularly for young people. Research shows that talking openly about these issues can significantly reduce stigma and encourage help-seeking behaviour.

If your child—or any young person you know—seems to be struggling, here are some steps you can take:

• Encourage open dialogue: Let them know it’s okay to talk about their feelings, no matter how difficult or confusing.
• Provide resources: Share information about organisations like 📞 Childline (0800 1111) or 📞 The Samaritans (116 123).
• Be vigilant: Watch for changes in behaviour, mood, or energy levels that might indicate distress.
• Offer professional support: Suggest speaking to a school counsellor, GP, or mental health professional when needed.

Reducing Stigma Through Open Conversations 🧡

By having these difficult but essential conversations, we can help our children navigate their emotions, build resilience, and understand that no matter how overwhelming life feels, they are never alone.

Let’s work together to ensure every young person has the support they need to thrive. 💞